just got home from chris’ house at antipolo and it was really exhausting and fun at the same time…

idk if i’m going to be happy that i taught janelle how to use instagram…but she took nice shots..so i forgive her

(me, janelle and cha)

this is me and chris’ dog, missy (a golden cocker spaniel), she’s such a sweetheart

me and chris

with the 2 chris’ and my 2 guitarists :D rehearsing songs

what we had for merienda/early dinner (THEY TASTED LIKE HEAVEN!!!)

this was before leaving..taken at the balcony. (thanks janelle!)

i don’t know but if she do that i’ll never forgive myself…. and i’ll probably live a miserable life.

my bestfriend’s actually thinking of committing suicide after what happened earlier and the past few days…..

i care about her so much and she has no idea

well, it has been a really fun year, 2011. a year full of bands and stuff. so yeah.

i think my only regret was missing out the mayday parade show. yup. that’s all.

We can’t please everybody. [FACT]

.. Even that person who you thought would appreciate all those little stupid things you do.

It’s funny how I have this ability to turn people down when I want them to be happy. Pretty crazy, right? I know. You know what sometimes I question myself why can’t I just let myself get mad at some certain people. Well, I know I am furious, I really am. But I just can’t. 

So lesson learned today: People may not appreciate you, but God does. Especially if it’s pleasing in His eyes and if you do it to glorify Him by loving those people around you even though they rejected you. Jesus Christ had been there. But you know what’s sad? Some people keeps on rejecting Him up until now. 

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

Of course it’s human nature to get pissed at first, especially when your things are brand new, it’s normal to get mad for a minute or two.. But for me, it’ll only make me feel bad for like 10 seconds then everything will be okay.

I was just wondering if ever you thought of that statement to yourself when I accidentally dropped, pour or did something on your electronic stuff.

You ignore me for the rest of the day? Okay, that is so not fair!

I was never a good person. So no one really likes me.

I know that, and it hurts.

I don’t mean to brag but I really believe that I’m one of the most-blessed person ever. Why? Well, I’ve a pretty perfect family and a perfect bestfriend who’s always there for me when I need them. And they love me so much. 

When it comes to boys, I never really experienced being cheated in my past relationships. I know that those guys are really serious about me and they loved me so much. It’s just me. I’m the one who ended those relationships. Why? Well, because there’s this boy that I’ve been crushing on since 2nd grade, and he’s like my ultimate crush and my first love. To make the long story short, we became good friends and fell inlove. He’s the guy that I’ve always been wanting since I was as young as 7 and I can picture my future with him in a whole new level. 

We’re in a relationship for almost two years now.. WOW! (I know, right?) But the sad thing is, I really think we’re falling apart. It’s not that I don’t love him, or anything like that.. NO! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND IT WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE. It’s just maybe I need to take time for myself first. Figure out what I really want in life. Organize things. Be independent. Just so you know, he’s studying really far away from our town (it’s like an hour away if you’ll take a plane ride) and we only get to see each other every Christmas vacation and for a really short time on summer vacations. I just don’t think I can make time for him anymore especially now that college is really getting tougher and harder. And my responsibilities at home, at church and at school are really killing me. All he always wanted is for me to tell stories of what happened to me the whole damn day, I know it’s not much to ask but I really don’t think he’ll like it when I told him what exactly really happened.. The worst part is, he wanted me to tell it via SMS! Oh holy coconuts! I already resigned to being a text-whore! Plus, if I told him what really happened it won’t really matter ‘cause we’re both living our lives on different communities, he doesn’t know those people I’m with and he’ll never understand MARKETING. Same with me - I’ll never understand ship-machinery! Did you get my point? Life’s getting serious and I’ve had enough of his whining about me not texting back for the last 5 minutes. It’s really lame.

I figured out that maybe our relationship is not working, for now. You know, like a kid before I’m always excited for holidays just so I could see him already.. but growing up, it’s not getting really exciting anymore. I’m starting to act cold towards him, no matter how hard I try fire up the moment when I cuddle him when we’re together especially the past few days when he came to my place and visit me. It’s just not the same anymore.

On the other hand, as you guys noticed that I’m really tight with my bestfriend. She’s like the person who knows everything about me. Because SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND (duh?). And we really love each other and all I wanted was to be with her, watch movies with her, do homeworks with her and argue about the little-est thing. She’s my twin sister.

I JUST HATE IT WHEN SHE THINKS THAT SHE’S THE REASON WHY I WANTED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND. Oh come on, who am I kidding? EVERYONE thinks that she’s the reason why I wanted to take a break from this relationship. FUCK YOU if you think the same way. We’re not lesbians, okay?! We’re just really close and we enjoy the company of each other. We’re like playmates in kindergarten, we don’t want to be apart.

SO STOP JUDGING ‘CAUSE YOU PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH!